Chain
Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Keep Scrolling
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun?
Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will
be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile
of manure.
It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't
like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will
be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will
be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people
will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter,
and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people
will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and
will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain
Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this
letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's
life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar
will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy
from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally
send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence
since 1897.
This is absolutely incredible because there
was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing
better to do.
So this is how it works... Pass this on to
15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen
to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in
a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.
Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend
(hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell
and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you
could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to
all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.Send
it to all your friends.
FRIENDS:A friend is someone who is always at
your side.
A friend is someone who likes you even
though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been
eating catfood.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as
a hat full of assholes.
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.A
friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
your sad, sad life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets
the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry
that's the cleaning lady.
A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you lonely or luckless for the rest of your life,
delete it.
If it's funny, send it on (but using BCC ).
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if
you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?