The European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the
EU rather than German which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5 year phase-in
plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will
replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of
the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they
should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v".
During ze fifz year,ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!